During the holiday season you may have met your teenage daughters latest boyfriend. A long-haired little bastard trying to get in her pants. But it could be worse…much worse. So here I present The 18 Creepiest Film Characters You Wouldn’t Want Your Daughter Dating.
18. Luther – The Warriors. He just wants your daughter to come out and play.
17. Isaac – Children of the Corn. I can’t think of anything creepier than a religious nut-job kid who spouts scripture. Oh yeah, I know…let’s have him played by a 25 year old guy.
16. Damien – The Omen. This kid started both the “Kids Are Creepy” thing and the “The Antichrist Is Creepy” thing.
15. Cary – Your Friends & Neighbors. This guy is the definition of misogynist and he made this list because of one ultra creepy scene.
14. The Lieutenant – Bad Lieutenant. We might want to reconsider our police hiring practices.
13. Mr. Blonde – Reservoir Dogs. I’m not sure who’s creepier, Vic Vega (AKA Mr. Blonde) or Michael Madsen, the guy who played Vic Vega.
12. Gaear Grimsrud – Fargo. The Coen brothers really know how to do creepy, but at least he’s also quiet.
11. Stansfield – Leon (AKA The Professional). Here is a fun fact; he takes no pleasure in taking life from someone who doesn’t love life. Tell your daughter.
10. Anton Chigurh – No Country for Old Men. The good news is there’s only a 50% chance he’d kill your daughter.
9. Patrick Bateman – American Psycho. When he sees your daughter he has two thoughts; one, he’d like to take her out, talk to her, be real nice and sweet and treat her right. Two, he’d like to see what her head looks like on a stick.
8. Amon Goeth – Schindler’s List. Ralph Fiennes is Lord Voldemort and in 2010 plays the part of Hades, King of the Underworld. But neither of those roles hold a creepy flame to his role as Amon Goeth in the film Schindler’s List. Fiennes was born to play this part, and no matter how many Made in Manhattan’s he tries to make, ladies, please don’t fall for his good looks and slick English accent. He is one evil son-of-a-bitch.
7. Kane – Poltergeist II. Actor Julian Beck was born with a unique gift…god-damned freaky looks. He saved an otherwise crappy film and created one of the most memorable horror film characters. See the trailer here.
6. Frank Booth – Blue Velvet. This is why you don’t want your daughter marrying a “Momma’s Boy”. Maybe David Lynch should have been on this list.
5. Hannibal Lecter – The Silence of the Lambs. Yes he’s an obvious choice from a classic creepy film. He would have rated higher on this list, but he seems to be a gentleman with the ladies.
4. Bobby Peru – Wild At Heart. Bobby could have easily ended up at number one on this list. I mean just looking at his mug gives me the hibbie-jibbies. Unfortunately for him he was so damned mentally unhinged that he didn’t seem capable of doing as much as the 3 above him.
3. Max Cady – Cape Fear. DeNiro at his most intimidating. Interesting trivia, Bill Murray was originally considered for the part. The idiot with that idea was Steven Spielberg.
2. Henry – Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. This one gave me nightmares for weeks. I’ve never seen a snuff film, but I imagine they are a lot like this film.
1. Jack Torrance – The Shining. Pro? He’s a hard working family man. Con? He just wants to bash your daughter’s brains in. The Shining is still the scariest movie I’ve ever seen, with a full cast of freaky characters; the son, Grady, Lloyd the bartender, furrier guests, the Grady twins, Shelley Duvall.
So there you have it, 18 world-class weirdo’s you’re daughter could be dating that would be worse that her current boyfriend. Did I forget any?